Pieces of us...

In my postings you will most likely see a variance of ups and downs, comical and serious, deep and shallow, modest and boastful...

Which one of those is me? 

All of them. 

We are not defined by one thing, as all of the little bits and pieces of us are what makes us the complex individuals we are. 

Regardless, if some of those parts seem bad or weak, such as impulse or carelessness, anger or jealousy, then we must work on strengthening the good to rise up, improve, overcome, and become the best version of ourselves that we can be. 

Most of all, remember to Love yourself and forgive yourself for your faults. We all have them, it's just a matter of deciding whether or not we want to make self improvements. 

Life is Better with Love

Falling in Love,

As my visit to Grand Rapids has come to an end and I am on my way to visit another great friend in Oswego, IL, I've pulled over to visit the town of South Haven, Michigan and reflect on the last few days. 

I have learned a valuable lesson on Love this week as I fell in Love quickly and easily. Possibly quicker than I ever have before. I'm not talking romantic Love, but rather the Love that we have for our closest siblings, nieces, nephews, parents and best of friends. 

This week was spent with a great friend of mine and I was able to meet his beautiful new family which I had only previously been able to see through pictures on Facebook. Not seeing him since a visit to New York before I deployed to Iraq in 2007, he had since added an amazingly beautiful wife and two gorgeous young daughters to his life. I was so exited to finally meet and get to know them. 

When Lee greeted me outside, it was as if we hadn't missed a beat. Singing "Eh-Rah" to the tune of Amazing Grace just like in the old days, a couple of odd balls that could easily be confused for complete idiots while actually having an immeasurable amount of deep conversations and both striving to live by a strict moral code of honesty and loyalty.  When we walked up the stairs of his apartment complex I couldn't believe that I was going to soon see his bride and the family they have created. When I came inside all 3 beautiful blonde girls were in the living room, his wife, Meggy, their infant daughter, Audrey, and their extremely welcoming toddler, Arrabella. She and Mom were having a tea party, and I was quickly invited to join. I was blown away by the personality and communication skills of this girl who is barely over two years old, a tell tale sign of great parenting. 

We hung out for the afternoon and got to know each other, and on night one I was able to get hug and kiss goodnight. Nothing better than hugs and kisses from the pure souls of young children. 

Over the course of the following few days I got to know the little Audrey better and was able to hold her while she slept, and play peek a boo to cheer her up when she was grumpy. I also got to sit back and watch my bud Lee be an amazingly fun Dad, and his wife be a Loving yet hilarious and fun Mom. 

On two consecutive nights I was fortunate enough to be invited to the Fitzpatrick residence, where Meggy's younger siblings are still growing up, a few just now leaving the nest. It was her Grandfather's 94th birthday, and this big Irish family was more than happy to welcome a newcomer into their home. Something must be in the water because each and every one of them were ridiculously gorgeous and handsome. I was quick to learn that they were all extremely intelligent and beyond their years as well, again, a sign of a good upbringing, which has now been passed down to the next generation. Smiles were seen all around, and the happiness was contagious. Playing catch, eating steak, bouncing on Pogo sticks,  tossing the frisbee in the giant front lawn, and a competitive game of four square were not only invigorating and relaxing, but a wonderful reminder of how important simple pleasures are in life, and how much better those simple things can be when enjoying them with Loved ones. 

When it came time to leave this morning, I planned on leaving early, but also knew that if the girls woke up and were out and about after I got back from breakfast with the guys that I would get caught up in hanging out and leave later than intended. Sure enough, I stalled for at least an hour and drew with Arrabella, made silly noises with Audrey, and had a nice heart to heart with Megs. 

Goodbye hugs are always the hardest, especially when you live such a great distance from someone. The best way for me to cope with those emotions is to assure myself that it's not a farewell forever, and rather an "until next time."

I feel like I can honestly tell the entire Family that I Love them, and mean it from my heart. Reflecting on that makes me realize how strong of a connection I have with Lee, as so much of the Love for his family is associated with seeing how happy he is with them and how fortunate he is to have found someone so great, as well as the fact that he is with someone that not only deserves but also can appreciate the person that he is. 

Lee, if you're reading this I'm sure you're thinking: "Bro! Enough with the Lovey Dovey stuff, ya Goon-a-Loon!" But bro, I Love ya and am so incredibly happy that you are where you are right now. Megs, he did good and so did you, I'm happy for you, too. Don't forget to send those vids. 

-Kugs

The World just got a Little Brighter with the Loss of a Dark Soul

I have emerged once again from my Facebook Cessation due to a news report that brought a solemn sigh of relief to my heart. It has been reported that Fred Phelps Sr, the leader of the Westboro Baptist Church has ceased to exist on our planet. I'm not one to celebrate the death of another, but there are a few exceptions to be made, especially as the world may just be a better place without him.

For those of you who are not aware of the Westboro Baptist Church and their practices, I can try and quickly sum it up by explaining a firsthand account with them as their young children stomped on the American Flag outside of a Military Funeral that I was Honored to be a part of the Rifle Detail, while they shouted through a megaphone that that the Soldier, killed in Iraq, was "A faggot" and "would burn in hell."

While our ceremonial rifles were just that, ceremonial, unfortunately so were the rounds inside as we fired off blank ammunition to honor the fallen member. We were granted some satisfaction, however, as the Patriot Guard was in full force and revved their motorcycle engines to create a grumbling and cackling roar that at any regular funeral would be considered disruptive in it's own accord, but rather welcomed with applause as the engines and exhaust pipes drowned out the despicable nonsense of these ignorant souls who are apparently motivated solely by hopes of citizens infringing upon their rights, allowing them to use the law to their advantage and gain some type of monetary compensation from the families who they know are getting the Servicemembers Group Life Insurance for the loss of their Loved one.

After my family lost one of our own, brother, husband, uncle, and son in 2007, the WBC had made plans to be there, as I had checked in with the Chief of Police in our small Nebraska town and confirmed that they had the permits. I found out where they were going to be protesting, and had the funeral procession routed in a way that would avoid them. I spoke as much as I could to the concerned family and friends and instructed all persons not to engage in any conversation with these ingrates because that is exactly what they are looking for, and that I could guarantee the impersonal things that would be spewing from their mouths would be taken extremely personal and would evoke a rage inside you that may not be able to be squelched during the time of grieving. Fortunately for our community, the WBC members apparently didn't want to bear through the frigid Nebraska cold as they did not show. The Patriot Guard was there in full force, forming an impressive flag line, nonetheless.

If anything is to be said to these people, a "Thank You" may just be the strongest thing I could conjure. As much as my inner Marine would rather see the entire "congregation" cast into the underworld, a more mature and mindful me would say "Thank You." "Thank you for reminding the world of how free American Citizens truly are, as you are free to speak your atrocious and uncivilized nonsense during the funeral of the very person who died for that Freedom."

I'm not familiar enough with the inner workings of the hierarchy of the Westboro Church, but I would be more than pleased if this death marked the cutting off of the head of the slithery snake.

Either way, the world just lost a dark soul, and is a little brighter because of it. May his influence quickly diminish.

-Robert Kugler

SSgt USMC Retired

Oh You Tricky Facebook, You!

I had to get a new phone on Tuesday and in order to reinstall a few apps and log in I had to re-activate Facebook. Crazy how that works. A fella tries to take a break and they just SUCK ya right back in. I had done that once before with an account on my computer, and then deactivated immediately afterwards. 

STRAVA, a cycling tracking app, is the app I needed my Facebook account for today. I don't consider myself a cyclist, but rather a person who loves to ride any kind of bike and feel the wind in my hair and sun on my face. Nonetheless, I do like to record the rides so that I can track my progress and see where I stack up against my buds to make sure I'm ready for the bigger rides that I like to do with Ride2Recovery. 

Here is today's ride:

https://www.strava.com/activities/120321907

Things are still going well as I'm getting ready for the Ride2Recovery Texas challenge next week, riding with wounded Veterans from Houston to Dallas. I'm going to hop back off of Facebook until we start the challenge next week. It's been a great break and I'm enjoying looking at the giant and beautiful world around me rather than being buried into the tiny screen of my phone. 

I still post some pictures on Instagram, so if anyone wants to stay in the loop of what I'm up to (and lots of doggy pics) you can follow me. Username RobKugler. 

My closing motivational tidbit for the week is this:

When pursuing your passion, don't let people tell you that you can't do it....but know that it may take more work than you've ever put into anything else in your life. Also know that it doesn't have to be a career that you're chasing, but maybe you need a job/career flexible enough to allow you to pursue that thing that makes you come to life. If you find that your passion changes, it's okay to set yourself up to chase the new one. Often times we don't even know that we are passionate about something until we've been exposed to it. Life is an improvisation. We can make all the plans we want, but the universe doesn't seem to abide by our plans. So, when you find something that ignites your passion, fuels your fire, electrifies your heart, stimulates your mind, and sings to your soul...you may just owe it to yourself to let that passion guide you. After all, when you have all of the aforementioned effects happening to your mind, body and soul..you may just have the power to do anything in the world that you want to do. 

Okay, enough of my babbling. It's time for a nap.

ZzZZzzZz

Time to Unplug

I've been involved in a lot of different amazing things over the last few years, but spreading myself too thin in the process. Not committing fully to any one thing...distracted with one while with the other, physically in one place and mentally in another. Facebook has been great to connect with so many great people and organizations, but I'm always "plugged in." While at sporting events, social gatherings...anywhere, really....I'm on my phone either taking/editing/uploading pictures, or reading about someone else's amazing adventure, new diet, new babies, new jobs, stupid boyfriends and so on. Meanwhile, I'm missing the event that I'm at, or the conversation that I'm having with an actual living, breathing, beautiful person right next to me, because my head is down and eyes are buried into my phone. Even when I'm not looking at my phone, Facebook will often times be on my mind because of some conversation, some "did you see what Jane Do posted?!" kind of nonsense that I shouldn't be concerned about. When people ask me what my schedule is, I tell them I have to check my Facebook and see. Facebook is no doubt a wonderful tool to connect, and gives you the power to reach out to so many people, but if you're like me, it's addictive. Like all things, it's about balance and moderation. I've formed a "habit" and it's time to take control and fix it.

I've got some serious cycling to do to continue to prepare for the Texas Challenge with Ride2Recovery in just over two weeks and need to eliminate distractions so that I can focus. I'm going to conduct a small experiment by deactivating Facebook until after the Texas Challenge and then check back in once I'm done and report on the process. I've said before that I'd like to take a break from Facebook but "can't, because I use it for so many things and group activities." Well, like I said before, I'm distracted. I am the one that needs to bring it back and focus on what is IN FRONT OF ME TODAY. That thing right now, is to be in good enough cycling shape to ride in the Texas Challenge and hopefully have enough left over to help push those who can use a little extra help.

For anyone who absolutely needs to get a hold of me....they can revert to archaic methods such as an "e-mail" or even going back farther in time...a "telephone call." I'll wait until tonight to deactivate, in case someone needs to send me their info via Facebook for necessary communications.

I can honestly say that I am truly looking forward to this.

See you on the other side,

-Rob

Circumstance, Coincidence, Fate

This morning, I woke up just in the nick of time to take a friend to the airport. Luckily, she only lives a few blocks away, and I was actually there in time to even need to wait a few for minutes as she finished getting her things gathered. Once she came outside, I took her suitcase and loaded into my little Mazda3 while Bella was excited to see a new face. I put it in on the driver's side, then remembered that we were headed to the airport and that the best and safest way to unload at the airport is through the passenger side, as to avoid getting mauled by a taxi. I laughed when I caught my reflection in the window, as I was wearing plaid pajama bottoms, a triathlon tee, and a Team Rubicon hat. No need to get dressed for a quick trip to the airport.

We started our short drive from Culver City to LAX and I was impressed to see such little traffic southbound on the 405 at 8am. My way back northbound, however, was obviously not going to be so enjoyable, as I could see traffic barely inching along the 405 North. I nearly missed our exit for the airport, and luckily didn't have to go passed it onto the next one and back track. I took a left on La Cienega, and joined the slow moving surface street, with only a block to drive south before needing to turn on Century Blvd. A vehicle was trying to exit a parking lot while I was far down the line of vehicles stopped at a red light of La Cienega and Century. I left a gap so that she could pull forward, she waved thank you and pulled out into my lane, and inched forward to see if she could cross the next. At that moment, a motorcycle locked up it's brakes and clipped the front end of her car and the rider was launched forward into the air, and onto the ground, while his helmet went rolling to the side of the street.

I pulled forward, behind the struck car, had my passenger call 911, got out of my vehicle and approached the young man as he lay screaming in the center lane. As I walked toward him he was reaching out, screaming "Help Me!" I kneeled down next to him and let him know that my friend had called 911 and that the EMT's were on their way. I gave him my hand for him to reach out to and squeeze, he did. I did a quick assessment and it appeared that his leg was the main injury, with a possible break to the tib-fib and ankle, with a 6-8 inch laceration on his thigh. I asked him his name, and told him that help was coming. He was reaching for his leg, trying to see it, I asked him his name again and where he was headed, to take his mind off of the obvious excruciating pain he was experiencing.  He started saying "Babe...call Babe." He was searching his jacket pocket for his phone, and I asked him where it was. It was located in his front jean pocket, so I got it out and he gave me the unlock code. "Call Babe." I pulled up his recent calls and nearly every single one was to "Babe" with emoticon roses on both sides of the name. I told him that he needed to not scream while he talked to her, and he took some breaths and calmed down. It didn't last long, as he broke down while trying to explain to her and screamed for her to come help him. I asked for the phone back and told her that he has indeed been in an accident, and though his leg is hurt, it appeared to be only his leg. I gave her the intersection and she said she'd be on her way.

I told the rider that I was going to put her number in my own phone, and before I could look it up, he was cognizant enough to recite both his and her numbers as I put them in my phone. From there, I just continued to ask him to stay still, and when he screamed, reminded him that he could squeeze my hand as hard as he needed to, he did. The Fire Engine showed up and the EMT/Paramedic/Firefighters unloaded and came immediately with a bright orange back board. They used their scissors to cut through his boot, which seemed amazingly effortless, and then his sock. Again, he screamed and tried to look. Once they had taken over the scene, I looked to the young man and said: "You're in good hands, I've got to go, but you're in good hands." He was so focused on the pain, and the professionals helping him, that I'm not sure he even noticed me leave.

My passenger asked if I was okay, and I said that I was fine....but that I also couldn't help but feel some guilt as I was the one who allowed the gap in traffic for the woman to pull out. She replied to me that she could think the same thing, because she is the one who asked me for a ride. Everything leads up to a certain point, and regardless if I was driving at all today or not, that woman would have still been trying to leave that parking lot, and that man would still have been riding his motorcycle. Perhaps it could have been worse, or if it were the same, maybe he would have been left screaming in the street with no one to help.

After I dropped her off alongside the airline, I grabbed the bag from my car's passenger side, still remembering that conscious choice to avoid a run in with a taxi, and told my friend to have a great trip. She gave me a big hug and told me to call if needed, as she would be waiting in the airport for at least an hour. I pulled out of the airport and after taking two wrong turns, made it back to the scene of the accident. There was only one Police Officer present, and the vehicles were moved to the side of the road. When I pulled up to the Officer, he waved me forward, but I slowed and rolled down my window: "I was the first one on the scene, and I had to take a friend to the airport, but I'm back now." He told me that they had 2 witness reports and they had all that they needed.

I called the girlfriend to ask how she was and that if she had made it to her boyfriend yet. They may be married, actually, I couldn't see a ring because he was wearing gloves. Regardless, she had made it to the accident, but he was already en route to the hospital by the time she got there. She asked me how badly he was hurt and I explained "His leg definitely appeared to be broken, and there are a few cuts as well, but he is definitely going to be OKAY." I could hear the relief in her voice, as she wasn't sure how bad that it was, as would anyone when getting a call from your loved one who is screaming "come help me." I asked which hospital that they would be taking him to, and that I may stop by if it would be okay. She said she was on her way there, and I said that I'd go home and put on some real clothes, as I was in my pajamas because I didn't expect to be getting out of the car during this trip.

Once I got home, my mom called and I wanted to tell her about this story, but it hadn't settled in my brain yet. I didn't want her to take on any unnecessary burden and worry about me and how I was doing. I then talked with her about her computer issues for nearly an hour. I sent a text to the girlfriend or wife of the rider and asked how he was doing, which brings us to the present. He has a broken leg that needs surgery, and will be under for 4 hours. I feel that it's important for anyone who is in the supportive role to remain focused and strong, so I suggested that she find something to occupy her time such as a book, and to remember to eat during that time as well. Also, I said that I can be there anytime if needed.

I keep reflecting on this situation, as it just happened a few hours ago, and have had many different emotions stirring within because of it. Circumstance, Coincidence, Fate, and Blame were things that ran through my mind. I felt that those things are so complicated, and I feel that I should process what it was that I was meant to learn by seeing this. What is that I'm supposed to "take away from this experience?" I think, that thing, may be one much more simple, and much stronger, and relevant. That thing, is Love. The Love between these two, no matter how weak or strong their relationship is, was so apparent during these circumstances. At that very moment, all he wanted in the entire world, was the Love of his life. No matter what she was doing, she dropped it to come be with him and be by his side. I feel that maybe that is a good thing for us to think about when asking ourselves who really matters in our lives. Who would you reach out for, scream for, as your life was almost taken from you and you were injured badly enough that you couldn't help yourself? Think of those people today, and hug them if you see them...call them if you can't. Tell them, that if it were you in this circumstance, that they are the first ones you would want to see, to touch, to hold, to comfort. Do this today, if you can, because they just may need to hear it from you.

-Rob K.

Life in Los Angeles

So, I have DEFINITELY been slacking on the ol' blogg-arooksy duties for sure!! Accept my apology as I vow to never allow such a gap of time between posts again!!

So, since my last update in March many many things have happened. The most important of those things being my trip back to Nebraska to make the official move TO L.A.!!! That's right, Charli and I are officially California residents!! We signed the Census, registered the vehicles, and even have our Cali I.D.s!! It's funny to look at my NE i.d. next to my CA i.d.. One I'm not smiling and pale, the other I'm boasting an ear to ear smile and tan. I'll let you do the necessary algorithm to find out which is which. :)

Charli and I found an amazing apartment complex in Carson, CA. It is like living in a resort, seriously. We have lush park-like courtyards between all of our buildings. These courtyards are hosts to stainless steel grills that are connected to underground natural gas lines. (no charge to us and they never run out!) There are fountains all across the park which create a romantic ambiance, which is accentuated by the overall quiet atmosphere of the community. We have a nice pool and hot-tub that are both kept along with the rest of the property by our full-time maintenance crew. Most everybody we've met so far are friendly neighbors and we get along pretty well. It's taken a few people quite some time to get used to Bella because she's so big, and some people are still a bit timid around her. I just reply: "She's a sweetheart, you can google 'Friendliest Dog' and find that labs come in 2nd behind Goldens."

Charli found a job that's just up the street so that she doesn't even have to get on the freeway. That's a huge bonus for the both of us because it gives us more hang-out time!! Hang out time here in Cali is even more important than in NE because we don't have the support group that we had back home. For me I could be in Bangladesh and not really be effected as I haven't been near home since I was 17, but Charli has a great relationship with her parents and has seen them at least weekly her entire life. They have been awesome to us and it was sad to say goodbye when we took them to the airport after they helped us move out here. Charli is a very strong and independent woman, and she loves it out here, but of course she understandably needs more hubby time when she's away from the NE fam.

School Updates:

I passed Basic and was recommended to take Basic II, my instructor was Lisa Schurga. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdLdty-z5mI
I was as excited as a Lakers fan on game-day when I found out that she would be my instructor for Basic II as Charli and I had seen her perform multiple times at the Groundlings and she is one of our Favorite performers!! She turned out to be awesome and the class was so much fun!! She had a teaching style that was very personal and honest. She said that I made a huge improvement from the beginning of class to the end. (those kind of comments always make you wonder: "Did I start out good and finish amazing, or start out horrible and finish okay?" Hmm...)

Best part about that, is that I PASSED!! Yup on to intermediate for me!! Woo-hoo!!! When I got to Intermediate I was having fun right away!! We focused on characters Characters CHARACTERS!! It's tougher than it sounds to come up with some good characters, which may seem unbelievable to some of you that ROB would have ANY problems coming up with characters. We were told to pick people that we know and use them to base the characters off of. After talking to a buddy that was having a hard time as well, we both decided that it was because we were "Imitating" these people, and not using them as only a base and creating a new character from there.

Needless to say I didn't move on from intermediate, but not because I didn't pass. It was because I booked my FIRST paid "acting" gig!! Yup it's official folks, you can call me a Paid Actor!! Hehe. I showed up to a fitting on a Thursday night for Transformers 3!!! It was just to be a background actor (Extra) but it's friggin' Transformers!!! :D  I ended up getting cast for a "Physical Training Soldier" and showed up to set and hopped in a sexy all black uniform with a tight black tee on. There were about 15 of us and we were doing push-ups and what not to pump up our bods for the big screen. However, there ended up being no need for those characters so they sent us back to wardrobe to change into regular military uniforms. I ended up showing up the next day in my own uniform, so if we get to see me walking across the screen in the back...maybe we can sneak a peek at my name just above my pocket!!

I was able to meet most of the cast and they were all very nice. We worked our tails off and I won't get into any more details as we signed confidentiality agreements concerning the film. I don't believe that anything that I said above was in breach of that, beings that our lil parts got cut anywho.  I worked there for about 10 days from 6a-9p which made for a decent paycheck at the end. However, as I mentioned above I missed out on finishing my Intermediate class. I've registered for the next one that starts in August, so wish me luck that I'll do well in that one!! Also, I met a few good people who may become good friends on set of T3 and one of them is helping me to get into a few more improv classes that are outside of the Groundlings. I'll keep you updated on any happenings with that.

Oh P.S. I also got to sneak another lil extra role on Rizolli and Isles, a new show starring Angie Harmon and Loraine Bracco. I was just a runner in the crowd of a marathon scene, but twice I was placed right NEXT to Angie....keep an eye out peeps!! :D

Good Chattin' at ya,

-Rob